Me, myself & I(ris)

A love letter to myself

Jan 30, 2024

I did a dedicated post of iris flowers on the Flowers in Cinema Instagram a few years back, so this isn't the first time I've turned my name into a written topic on the internet. Anyone who knows me knows how infatuated I am with my name, so it's hardly surprising that this is the first thing I write on this Substack.

To begin, Iris is my first name. Iris Diane is my entire first name, but for the sake of the topic at hand, the Diane part is unimportant. My mother had intended for me to be named Kathleen, although it seems a bit unsettling to think of myself as such. My dad, with whom I haven't spoken to in over 15 years, is the one who did name me, but that's an entirely separate story. I used to hate my name since it was too short when I was little. My desire for wanting a name longer than four letters is still a mystery to me. Why I didn't just go by my entire first name, Iris Diane, is another mystery to me.

L: With an Iris umbrella on my 22nd bday // M: With a bouquet of irises on my 26th bday // iR: With an Iris cake on my 27th (quarantine) bday

I distinctly recall how much I loved the name Krystal. I'm not sure why, but Krystal with a K instead of a C had me completely enamored. Nevertheless, since my mom wouldn't allow me take on the name Krystal, I opted to go with the next best option, which was to get a stuffed animal of a black cat and an imaginary a friend. Both were named Krystal.

I quickly outgrew my Krystal phase (thank god!) and realized how much I appreciated my name. According to me, the following were some of the factors that led me to come to love my name:

Not being aware of any other Iris' in my near vicinity (unique)
Many people, both in person and online, have expressed how much they love my name (approval of others)
It was short…less to write down on paper (efficient)
I grew fond of flowers as I got older (maturity)

I get excited every time I see a vase of irises in a movie scene, whether they're blended in a bouquet or on their own. I am additionally excited when I see my name unexpectedly while out and about in my regular life. I have an album on my phone where I categorize all of my images with the word "Iris" in them.

Iris isn't the most uncommon name, but it's also not the kind of name you usually see listed in the top 10 baby names or on a souvenir keychain. However, it is the perfect name for a Mexican restaurant in LA, Italian perfume, cafe in Dumbo, nail salon, expensive bar of soap, Swiss fine pins and of course flowers.

Some random facts I’ve learned about irises:

It is the national flower of France. It’s used to represent French royalty
In Japan, the most common properties of the iris are its ability to purify evil energies or protect oneself
The iris is one of the February birth month flowers along with violets
They are also the 25th wedding anniversary flower
Irises are the state flower of Tennessee

I was aware that there are over 300 distinct species of irises, but before today, I had never actually taken the time to thoroughly research them. I had the most fun browsing through all 85 pages of this website, which features pictures and descriptions of every kind of iris. Who knew that irises could be named Perfume Counter, Beauty Tip, or Fashion Passion? All great names, but for obvious reasons, Cinnamon Girl has to be my fave.

Louis Gluck, one of my favorite poets, wrote a poem in 1992 titled The Wild Iris. I sobbed the first time I read it a few years ago when I realized it was a poem on death written through the eyes of an iris flower. How they may live, die, and be reborn. A flower that has survived death and returned to tell its story.